Men and masculinity.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH this subject is so BROAD and problematic I really don’t want to even confront it, but it has to do with stuff from real life so here it goes.
Basically, my brother Dursley (middle of 3 boys, 21) is kind of ridiculous. hes overly religious in a blind way, he is rude, sexist, rather silly, unfocused, and not very trustworthy. He has redeeming qualities I’m sure, but it’s hard to see them when you live so close to the bad qualities daily. Either way the point is, him and I get into arguments very often because he will say sexist things, or make sexist assumptions, I’ll call him out on it and he’ll be like “oh stop being so liberal” bla bla bla.
well this past week, in an “epiphany from God” he realized” that he was going to be “the man of the house” and as a man he should be better versed in his bible, mature, dedicated, have a solid and secure job that allows him to “provide for his wife”. In short, be a good human being. He actually started off saying “I know you’ll be annoyed by this, but as a man, I believe I am called to do these things.”
Now, because I’m not as mature as I should be, I did get annoyed, and I told him that everyone should strive to be the best person they can be, whether a man or not, and that the whole point of having a relationship with God has nothing to do with gender, but with your soul, and I would hope the expectations he has for himself and his religion, he’d also want to see his spouse aspire to as well.
But like… I wonder. Is “threatening his masculinity” by claiming “real men do___” actually more effective than “Good humans do____”, and would his eventual understanding that the “real man dichotomy” is foolish at best be more harm than good because he would no longer be motivated to be “good” essentially?
I illustrate my point with voting. Voting (since the 1920’s, well at least for white middle class woman) has been a “american citizen” thing, and has no connections to masculenity whatsoever. My mom Has voted in every single election since she was 18, and when she had us, she took us to the voting booths, and on the way there and back told us about how our grandparents marched and were beaten with hoses, attacked by dogs, and locked in jails, just for the privilege to be heard. and that it was our civic duty for ourselves, children, and future generations to vote.
Well, obviously this sunk in for me, as I’ve voted in every election except one Mayoral election because I was living 50 miles from my district (at college) and election day happened to be on a chem midterm. I vote because in short “Citizens vote, citizens are involved.” My brother on the other hand, voted for Obama in ‘12, but didn’t vote in any previous elections (which there were 2 after his 18th, though they weren’t presidential) because he “didn’t feel the need”. If “real men voted” would he have the same drive for his civic duty as he now feels towards his future husband duties?
Is the male masculinity so fragile, that the manipulation of masculine credibility (while trite and asinine) the only way in maintain control and institute change in society?
We see ads “real men don’t rape” and we’re like “how stupid, no one should rape, just don’t do it.” but…. everyone already knows rape is bad; no one wants their mother or sisters raped, but if you just change the word “rape” college aged men admit in ALARMING numbers that they do believe that raping another person is ok.
So here’s my question, should we be saying “Real Men don’t______” even if it furthers patriarchy?
MISANDRY 4 LYFE
Femme is about politics, about power, about play.
Femme is about taking the time to be present with the body, to make time to care for your self. Femme is about quiet moments waiting for your nail polish to dry, the hair dye to develop, the moisturiser to soak in…..
It is really interesting to look into this. Honestly we tend to exalt the “Masculine” (even among girls on this site, seriously the hate I’ve seen toward girls who wear makeup is ridiculous) in our culture. This was refreshing and powerful to see. Give it a read
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Prime Minister of Australia kicking ass and taking names (mostly Tony Abbott’s). [x]
Mary Poppins ain’t havin’ none of your shit today.
“Pretty straightforward. Any confusion there?”
I mean, basically.
LOL oh Marium
this is so perfect
this is the best post on tumblr ever.
This “I’ma strong black woman who don’t need no man” shit is really annoying
And I’m surprised none of the SJ blogs haven’t brought this up.
But really, do you even know why this is a phrase?
Because Black women are considered “less desirable” than ALL other women by “western standards”. Google it, there have been COUNTLESS STUDIES, SURVEYS, QUOTES from Celebrities, and even magazines saying “black women aren’t attractive”.
It’s Because (in america) Black women had to raise children on their own when the men were taken and moved in a chain gang or to another plantation.
It’s because within the black community the most COMMON of stories is “Dad left/abused us”. MOST MOTHER FUCKING COMMON STORY.
So when your lilly white ass is saying “I’m a strong black woman who don’t need no man” you have no idea the type of strength it takes to be a black woman (who isn’t famous). That phrase isn’t some sassy one liner to move the (white woman’s) feminist movement forward. It was a prayer. “I am a beautiful, confident, strong capable black woman. My mother, my aunt, my sister did this alone, and I can too.”
A black woman’s strength isn’t what makes her alone, it’s her strength that carries her through being alone when everyone else rejects her.
Barbara Gordon Will Call You Out On Your Sexist Crap
In today’s Young Justice Batgirl has some thoughts about Nightwing having to explain why all female team is being deployed.
is this rant on tumblr? Where can I view it?
No it’s not, but I’ll make it here right now.
So people have this thing where if they like a person of color, or basically someone who isn’t A blonde buff guy, they feel the need to say “I don’t usually like black/latino/asian guys BUT YOU are hot”
This is just an example of the inherent racism of our culture. White people have the idea that being white is the “norm”.
perfect example, when talking to a white person about their day they will say “This black guy rear ended me.” or they’ll say “this guy rear ended me” with the implied idea that the “guy” is white because being white is normal. The race of the person you got in an accident adds nothing to the anecdote.
This is also shown in our tv, books, and media where white characters are the “standard” normal characters, but anyone of color, different orientation or even different hair color is a “deviation from the norm” and therefore ”unique”.
The same goes for the dating.
1.) It’s not a compliment to tell me that I’m some how “more different” or “more special” than everyone else in my race. because “hot for a black guy” means that comparatively I’m not “hot compared to normal” I’m “hot” with a handicap.
2.) Saying “I normally don’t like this but…” is like you are trying to justify strange and “abnormal behavior”. White and Blonde is “normal” but if you ask out a person of color people feel this need to just “explain their behavior”.
It really annoys me, and I just ignore those kind of people but it’s just tough to deal with on a daily basis.
and this has been a rant.
I really like the way this is phrased. It’s so easy for people to dismiss “rape jokes” when they’re referred to as “rape jokes” because it makes rape sound like nothing more than a subject, like there aren’t even any people involved.
“Joke about raping someone” sounds so much more accurate to what people do when they make a “rape joke.” You’re not just joking about some sort of comedic subject. You are joking about one of the most horrific experiences that can happen to someone.
More people need to realise this.
this chick is a genius
“Does this dick make my rights look bigger?”