Pj’s and relationships?
So we all have certain things that we can agree mark the beginning of the end of a positive relationship.
- Break down in communication
There are actually studies that show that couples with televisions in their bedrooms have less fulfilling sex lives and shorter marriages then couples who don’t have televisions in their bedrooms.
But what about Pajama’s (or however you spell bed clothes in your region)?
When you’re new in a relationship you sleep naked, or at the most in your skimpiest underwear because during the summer it’s “too hot” for clothes, and during the winter “body heat” warms you. bla bla bla, the young always make excuses to fuck.
The point is, are pajama’s a cockblock or a clam dam to love? is it a barrier to intimacy or is it just another article of clothing. I mean jeans aren’t necessarily a cock block (unless they are skinny jeans) so why should pj’s be. There isn’t a right or wrong answer, I’m just wondering about your thoughts.
OK so basically it’s all a matter of communication. If you feel like something isn’t being done in a relationship that should be done, it’s probably best to talk to your partner about this, NOT in the bedroom and NOT in public. let them know how you feel with out being accusing if possible. so avoid saying “YOU AREN’T” and try using “I Feel____”
Also romance means different things to different people. so I mean it really depends on what you’re looking for. good morning texts? do-able. Horse drawn carriages and breakfast in bed? If you’re dating a student, you might have to break up and start following Prince Harry around, or adjust your expectations to meet reality.
Hope that helps. sorry for the late reply.
Forever Alone Test.
I see people going “forever alone” alll the time. so I want you to do a little experiment with me.
First I want you to take your current age, and subtract it from the age you first started to like the sex you do now.
You cannot count the age if:
- You had not yet gone through puberty (so no kindergarten love affairs)
Now subtract from that number any time that you’ve been in a relationship, and the time leading up to that relationship (say you liked someone for 2 months before they asked you out. in this moment you were NOT forever alone)
you now have your true time that you’ve been alone.
You’ll be surprised at how little time that has been. so don’t worry, you’ll find someone
I did my time. I’ve only been forever alone for about 3 years and 10 months.
it’s not really that horrible. I counted since I accepted that I liked boys (cause all my girl crushes, or boy crushes I attributed to admiration don’t count) so I’m slightly more confident that I won’t be “forever alone”
Are they a good idea, or a love killer?
Do you think you’d sign one, or is that a deal breaker?
tell me what you think
Gorodo was America’s First Boyfriend
I was listening to the radio on my way to school today and this guy on the radio was saying how much harder it is for gay men to be celibate or postpone sex. Now at first I called bullshit but he went on to say that men aren’t socialized to be the gate keepers or sexually ashamed like women are and that there are expectations placed on gay men by society and each other to be highly specialized.
What do you think? Is he full of shit or have you noticed this too? How long does it normally take before you’re asking “top or bottom?” “how big is it?” or making your way to the back seat of the car? Is there room for waiting in a gay relationship? How would you handle a potential partner saying they wouldn’t have sex with you till three weeks in the relationship? How about three months? Or a year? Tell me about it.
“Absence makes the heart go wander”My Mom
- Bobby: Can we write a book on gay dating?
- Me: it will be two paragraphs:
- "gay dating sucks" "do as much of it before you are 25 or you are screwed and will be forever alone"
- Me: "accept the fact that the loosers you date, will end up with eachother eventually. this sucks because they don't eserve to be breathing, yet somehow they deserve each other and you on the other hand apparently deserve nothing."
LOVE DEACTIVATES BRAIN AREAS FOR FEAR, PLANNING AND LOVE DEACTIVATES BRAIN AREAS FOR FEAR, PLANNING AND CRITICAL SOCIAL ASSESSMENT!
A study by Bartel and Zeki of Imaging Neuroscience at University College London in 2004 discovered that love turns down activity in some areas of the brain in part so that we will not see flaws in the object of our affections.
Parts of the pre-frontal cortex gets switched off when we are in love and when we love our children, as do areas linked with fear (amygdale), aggression and planning (other areas of the forebrain). The parts of the brain deactivated are usually involved in a network that evaluates trustworthiness of others. The scientists recruited mothers and used pictures of their children and other people and watched how they responded to the picture using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and used data for romantic love from their previous studies. As shown in the picture above, the areas that get activated in romantic love are medial insula, cingulate gyrus, striatum, hippocampus and hypothalamus. It was found that neurohormones vasopressin and oxytocin are involved in the formation and maintenance of attachment between two people.
A recent study also discovered that gene therapy to deliver vasopressin receptor genes into the ventral pallidum of the brain made male meadow voles become monogamous. The researchers’ next step is to determine why there is extensive variability in behaviors among individuals within a species in order to better understand the evolution of social behavior.
I’d like to find the original paper on this…. but it explains alot
Social Networking as a Relationship Killer?
As a tumblr user you have probably (at least more than once) fallen for someone who was not necessarily close enough to ask to borrow a cup of sugar from. As our technological abilities expand, so does our sense of global connectivity expand. I have freinds and followers from all corners of the globe, but what happens when you become emotionally attached to this people…
Obviously, you would use technology to fill these voids, tumblr, facebook, skype, texting, twitter etc. However, this (I feel) creates this over saturation effect. Part of the beauty of a relationship (especially when you don’t have the luxury of being physically close) is the conversations, stories, and thoughts you share with that other person. but if you saw their statuses on facebook, their random tweets on twitter, and new photos and thoughts on tumblr, when you do have the opportunity to talk to them on skype all you can do is oogle them and give them boring compliments because there is nothing to talk about.
Also, there is a loss of freedom (and genuineness) to express yourself with these social networking sites if you know THEY will probably read about it.
Part of you obviously wants to know, see, love and enjoy everything you can about the person you like, but maybe in this case slow and steady wins the race. give that significant other one place where they can safely express themselves without the pressure of knowing you might be there, and the less Instant info you gather from these sites gives you MORE time you can spend hearing about those things, and listening to their voice
Just a thought
This comment right here…
Same here but still I sit and sit and flipping sit because I don’t know whether I’m going down or at the last minute captain save em will come to my sudden sexy recuse >=(
I feel like it belongs in a book….
it almost feels like learned helplessness theory….
Do we, like dogs, sit, and sit while we are being shocked, and KNOW with our better judgments that this is not something which we wish to continue, but yet and still continue to sit and be shocked because we know of no other way
All my friends are getting married
and… they are like…. EARLY 20’s…. like not a single one of them is a day older than 23… Granted a few of the girls I know from high school aren’t over 23 but their husbands are… but that’s a entirely different story.
Anyway the point is (most of) my friends are SUPER young, still in college, with out like careers…Am I the only one aware of a recession?
Granted… I can’t get married… and I’m single.
but eve if I were able to get married, and I did have someone I DON’T really think I can think of a scenario where I would rush into marriage with someone. How can you honestly know who you want to spend the rest of your life with, when you don’t even know what your favorite alcoholic drink is!
And even if you do “know” (a statistical conundrum but whatever) is it a wise decision to marry someone when you aren’t anywhere NEAR financially stable enough to support and run a household?
I don’t know, if you get married before your 30’s I just think it’s a bad idea
Being a bitchy gay….is it ever ok to play dirty?
So I find my self at a crossroads. I have the choice between bowing out like a gentleman, or Pulling a bugs bunny and saying “YOU KNOW THIS MEANS WAR!”
This is long so I’m doing the read more thing to not clutter your dash