Everyone seems to hate Cho Chang’s Character for some reason. and like I’m only in Order of the Phoenix, so… I don’t know if she gets worse, but so far she just seems like a girl who likes harry potter? like you know… how in school, you’ll like someone who isn’t in your group of friends… so you don’t really know all that much about them, and if someone were filming your life, they wouldn’t have like a huge background or back story because as I said, they don’t hang around with you.
Some how everyone has a feeling that like writers can just go on and on for ages about things, just so that EVERY character has a PRONOUNCED back story, and Everyone is 3 dimensional. but if you were to be really honest, could you say everyone out of your 500 friends on facebook are fleshed out and 3 dimensional? what’s going on in their lives right now besides the things they post. what are their motivations and desires? what? you say you’re too busy living life to know all that. My point exactly.
My ONLY Problem with cho chang is probably not rooted in reality but in personal fears, and that is the idea that if you’re really cool, you’re open to date a minority until you’re ready to settle down with someone else who truly matters. It’s just a trend I’ve seen where if characters do date minorities, it’s usually right before they end up getting with the person they are “supposed to be with”. But I haven’t finished the series, so who knows why things stop working with Cho, there’s two books left for harry to fall for Ginny (who, go head girl has NO problems gettin the D!)
Men and masculinity.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH this subject is so BROAD and problematic I really don’t want to even confront it, but it has to do with stuff from real life so here it goes.
Basically, my brother Dursley (middle of 3 boys, 21) is kind of ridiculous. hes overly religious in a blind way, he is rude, sexist, rather silly, unfocused, and not very trustworthy. He has redeeming qualities I’m sure, but it’s hard to see them when you live so close to the bad qualities daily. Either way the point is, him and I get into arguments very often because he will say sexist things, or make sexist assumptions, I’ll call him out on it and he’ll be like “oh stop being so liberal” bla bla bla.
well this past week, in an “epiphany from God” he realized” that he was going to be “the man of the house” and as a man he should be better versed in his bible, mature, dedicated, have a solid and secure job that allows him to “provide for his wife”. In short, be a good human being. He actually started off saying “I know you’ll be annoyed by this, but as a man, I believe I am called to do these things.”
Now, because I’m not as mature as I should be, I did get annoyed, and I told him that everyone should strive to be the best person they can be, whether a man or not, and that the whole point of having a relationship with God has nothing to do with gender, but with your soul, and I would hope the expectations he has for himself and his religion, he’d also want to see his spouse aspire to as well.
But like… I wonder. Is “threatening his masculinity” by claiming “real men do___” actually more effective than “Good humans do____”, and would his eventual understanding that the “real man dichotomy” is foolish at best be more harm than good because he would no longer be motivated to be “good” essentially?
I illustrate my point with voting. Voting (since the 1920’s, well at least for white middle class woman) has been a “american citizen” thing, and has no connections to masculenity whatsoever. My mom Has voted in every single election since she was 18, and when she had us, she took us to the voting booths, and on the way there and back told us about how our grandparents marched and were beaten with hoses, attacked by dogs, and locked in jails, just for the privilege to be heard. and that it was our civic duty for ourselves, children, and future generations to vote.
Well, obviously this sunk in for me, as I’ve voted in every election except one Mayoral election because I was living 50 miles from my district (at college) and election day happened to be on a chem midterm. I vote because in short “Citizens vote, citizens are involved.” My brother on the other hand, voted for Obama in ‘12, but didn’t vote in any previous elections (which there were 2 after his 18th, though they weren’t presidential) because he “didn’t feel the need”. If “real men voted” would he have the same drive for his civic duty as he now feels towards his future husband duties?
Is the male masculinity so fragile, that the manipulation of masculine credibility (while trite and asinine) the only way in maintain control and institute change in society?
We see ads “real men don’t rape” and we’re like “how stupid, no one should rape, just don’t do it.” but…. everyone already knows rape is bad; no one wants their mother or sisters raped, but if you just change the word “rape” college aged men admit in ALARMING numbers that they do believe that raping another person is ok.
So here’s my question, should we be saying “Real Men don’t______” even if it furthers patriarchy?
I really want a Doctor played by a man of colour in the near future. I’m ambivalent about a female Doctor. The Doctor has always had a male identity - it’s one of the unchanging parts of him, like his high IQ and his arrogance and his sass and his eccentricity. However, his whiteness, whilst it gives him privilege in some of the places he travels to, isn’t related to his identity because all Gallifreyans have one shared culture, regardless of race.
However, I’m worried about bullshit in the fandom. Not that that’s not a reason to cast PoC, but it would make the fandom a depressing place to be for a while. I mean, some people react negatively to every new Doctor, but I worry this would bring the racists out of the woodwork. People hate Martha for basically no reason and that’s partly because of Post-Rose Syndrome, but I also think it’s a lot to do with subconscious racism. And she’s a companion, not the actual Doctor. People seem to get angrier about Doctor-changes than companion-changes.
Also, fans on twitter are now spouting ageist bullshit about John Hurt. They think he’s too old to be the Doctor, even though the Doctor is literally centuries old. If people react this way to an old guy being the Doctor (which has happened before, and which makes perfect sense considering the Doctor is actually an old man) I dread to think the reaction to a black or brown Doctor.
Frankly I say bring it on! I want it! I want that struggle, I want that outcry I want that racism. I want to show all those hateful people that we can in fact be time lords, be Secret agents, be presidents, and be Confident, brilliant and sexy. The fear of hatred is not a legitimate reason to not move forward (I’m not like attacking you). We’re used to the hatred, and we still rise.
Love and Statistics
Granted, these two things aren’t really seen as two things that go together. But I find that these two things are at conflict in my life at the moment.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) Releases yearly reports on the incidence rates of a variety of diseases, and issues recconmondations to the American public for prevention of the future spread of disease. In 2010 the CDC reported an estimated 45,000 new cases of HIV with “nearly two thirds of those being gay or bisexual men.”(X) The CDC also released reports on the 2011 incidence rate of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis, all of which are on the rise.(X)
The CDC has two suggestions, Get tested, and wear Condoms. Simple suggestions that if followed can bring down the incident rates of all of these sexually transmitted diseases to a significant degree, even though it must be acknowledged that with any sexual interaction there is risk.
And here is where the “Love” comes into conflict with Statistics. ANY sexual interaction is a potential risk, including those interactions within the confines of a relationship. In a joint study from Texas A&M and Colorado University, researchers have found that the reported rates of infidelity have been on the increase from 1991 to 2006. “About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful, up from about 15 and 12 percent respectively.” and while this data only includes people who are married (therefore excluding a majority of LGBT couples, and heterosexual people who are not married but in committed relationships) it can be seen as a loosely representative statistic of the risk factor of infidelity whether married or not. It is with these statistics in mind that many health professionals have started to suggest the continued use of condoms, even if a person is on birth control, and even if they are married if they plan on having recreational sex.
But what does this say about your relationship? Granted, your health is the most important thing above all else in the world; when relationships fail you can always get a new one, but the same can’t be said about your Immune System. But at the same time there is a perceived slight against your partner if you continue to use condoms in a long term (monogamous) relationship. “If and When you cheat on me, I don’t want to be subject to the dangers of your impropriety.” Now if you had asked me 3 months ago, I would have told you I would say exactly that to my partner, if we were in a relationship for 2 years, or 50, that would be my canned response.
But let’s run the numbers. you have roughly a 1:4 chance of meeting, and dating a douche bag who will cheat on you. Leaving you a 3:4 chance of being with someone who at least has the decency to break things off with you before they move on. (this does not mean you have a 3:4 chance of meeting a good guy, you can be sucky, but still think cheating is wrong) Now, as I said, a 25% chance that you can get an STD or HIV from a long term committed partner is too high of a chance for me to risk with my health. But what happens when you hit the jackpot and you without knowing find that 1 in a million guy, Prince charming, who isn’t perfect but is perfect for you, and for some reason loves you more than anyone has ever been loved in the history of the cosmos. (It sounds like twilight shit, but it does happen. it may not happen to you, but it does happen) He’ll understand that you are valuing your safety and he’ll be supportive of it (cause he’s just that awesome) and use condoms without complaint or question till the day you die, but he may be perfect, but he’s still human, and he will also go to bed every night hurt and confused as to why you don’t trust him.
It has been said that there is little difference between a fortress and a prison, so the question must be asked, are you keeping danger out, or keeping your self in. How far is too far when it comes to safety, how long is long enough before you trust someone with your life. are you objectively capable of making the right decision? What do you think?
Can I just say how tired I am of People treating Math Like the red-headed stepchild, and people treading red head’s like they’re spawn of Satan.
Both are freaking awesome, and probably the best things on this earth short of a chocolate Chip pizzookie.
and both arouse me equally to be honest.
It’s funny to see the experiences of queers who are just “Straight guys who happen like men”, because honestly nothing could be more accurate. they’re just as racist, chauvinist, and homophobic as “joe sixpack” is, but they just prefer channing tatum over jessica alba.
and then I’m sat here being told I’m not “______” enough for the subculture I was shoved into by the other subcultures that rejected me because I wasn’t “______” enough for them either.
Isn’t it romantic….
So I have to question what is romance.
Basically……. there’s no place that’s safe as a black person. I can leave the bloody country, go across the ocean to the country that brags that it is the “beacon of human rights” and still be treated the same.
and every day existence becomes more trivial.
The Use of modern Technology in Clinical Psychological Practice.
As time changes our culture, so must we change our tools to better serve those we aim to help. As the doors open to have more advanced technology in our homes, cars and classrooms so must these tools find their way into our Therapeutic Practices.
I am constantly looking for ways to use technology as an aid to the therapeutic process especially because many of us constantly surrounded by some form of technology or another, from phones, to tablets or laptops.
Some of the ways we can use our technology is through the use of Apps. My favorite app right now to be used along with the assistance of a therapist is Recovery Record. This app is a daily log of your mood, eating habits, and also a separate journal log. Every time you fill in information it ends with a positive message, an inspirational quote, cute or inspirational photo, and a goal reminder at the bottom of the page. “You submitted two logs today! try and log 4, don’t worry if you don’t… there is always tomorrow.”
This interface is intuitive to use, is able to be used on computers, apple devices and Android software. What I love most about this application is that is also has an option for you to share your information with your clinician, so that the two of you can work on your goals, habits, and triggers.
If you aren’t suffering from an eating disorder you may want to use “Optimism” an apple software that allows you to track your mood, symptoms, and triggers, and allows you to make notes, review and send charts of your feelings so that you and your clinician can use this tool to help you feel better, and you can also use a BRILLIANT feature of this App called the “Stay well strategies.” All of the strategies found in here can serve as small reminders to help you traverse your day and mitigate whatever stressors you’re currently facing. All of your information is completely confidential and does not have to be traced back to you in any way whatsoever.
While I love this app, it’s not available in the Android Market, but Tap Log is. While this may take a bit more effort to set up because it is just a logging tool designed to just log anything and everything you could possibly imagine from work outs, to how many times a character said the word “Like”. But once you sort it out, it works exactly like Optimism, and you can use it to store data about your moods and behaviors, with more flexibility in such a way that will greatly help you and your clinician.
The final Apps I reviewed are both called “Positive Thinking” though interestingly enough they are made by different providers for the Apple and the Android platforms. They do exactly what they are titled, they have positive quotes to remind you that you are a wonderful made human being, and that you will make it through this. However, both of these apps have advertizements which does detract from how much I like the apps, but they do provie that positive reinforcement that we all need at the touch of a button.
All of the apps listed above are free, completely confidential, and to be used as supplementary tools to treatment with a licensed professional, and not as solitary methods of treatment. Everyone’s journey is different, and therefore your treatment options will vary, which is why it’s best to bring up these tools with your clinician and see if they will work for you.
With technology we see daily the misuse and abuse of our peers and and even sometimes ourselves. But technology can also be used to heal and restore, and that should be our daily goal as humans, to heal and restore, using every tool in our disposal along our journey of life.
“You’re just trying to swirl about through life as the center of the universe with people orbiting around you as little moons or separate entities.”
This was in an attempt to be an admonishing insult, but frankly I don’t really see a problem with it. Granted if someone believes themselves to be the center of the universe, and they aren’t, they are suffering from delusions of grandeur. But the people who are truly great, are the ones who can manipulate their universe around them, so as to make themselves the center of he universe, or at least their solar system. I’ve yet to read a book where the main character behaves as if they’re a side character in someone else’s story.
This all started last night when I was talking to my mom about Pastors and evolution (It doesn’t connect, so hold on) but like all of our conversations it somehow related back to romance and relationships. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am living with Mrs. Bennett.
Femme is about politics, about power, about play.
Femme is about taking the time to be present with the body, to make time to care for your self. Femme is about quiet moments waiting for your nail polish to dry, the hair dye to develop, the moisturiser to soak in…..
It is really interesting to look into this. Honestly we tend to exalt the “Masculine” (even among girls on this site, seriously the hate I’ve seen toward girls who wear makeup is ridiculous) in our culture. This was refreshing and powerful to see. Give it a read
Thoughts I’m trying to work through right now.
Peter is a gay man I slept with once. When he did come home with me and we were naked in my bed, he kissed my neck, and I moaned, high-pitched and breathy. He stopped, looked me in the eye and said, “Don’t do that. It’s faggy.”
You know how there was that post going around jokingly asking “what do I do when I get a boyfriend, what do boyfriend’s eat? how often do I have to walk them?”
yeah it was real funny but did anyone happen to “ironically” answer that question….
you know for irony and research and stuff,